Trevor Shevin gets vulnerable and opens up about his personal journey to recovery while speaking about the work he’s doing to help others as a certified interventionist professional. Trevor is the Principal and Founder of Sterling Recovery Services, a highly specialized team whose clients suffer from a wide variety of serious conditions, including alcoholism, drug addiction, and eating and mental health disorders, among others. Today, Dr. Flowers and Trevor discuss The Dogaholix, The United Intervention Services, and what it means to build authentic relationships.
Key Takeaways:
04:00 – Trevor Shevin opens up about his own journey to recovery and talks about the mission and vision of Sterling Recovery Services
09:43 – Building authentic relationships
10:42 – Trevor speaks to his passion for helping others and the work he’s doing at The Dogaholix & The United Intervention Services
14:22 – Describing the process of an intervention
20:09 – Why the best gifts come in poorly wrapped packages
22:46 – Dr. Flowers thanks Trevor for his vulnerability and his time and lets listeners know where they can learn more about Sterling Recovery Services
Tweetable Quotes:
“Back in 2017, I started a company called Sterling Recovery Services. We’re headquartered in Greenwich, Connecticut. We help families all over the world, mostly in the U.S. and London. We do everything from interventions to intensive case management to advisory and consultative services.” (07:54) (Trevor)
“You know, I’ve been very blessed to have a nice career, and I’m on the board of the NCADD of Westchester. I try to join nonprofit boards where I can and help less fortunate people. When I got into this field, I wanted to help anybody, whether it was inner city kids or whoever it might be.” (11:05) (Trevor)
“[In our interventions] There’s no shaming. There’s no blaming. There’s nothing punitive. It’s all protecting them from themselves and trying to reach their hearts to get them to understand the ripple effect.” (16:47) (Trevor)
“My ability, I think, to connect with people and have empathy and compassion is a direct byproduct of things I’ve been through.” (20:32) (Trevor)
Resources Mentioned:
JFlowers Health Institute – https://jflowershealth.com/
JFlowers Health Institute Contact – (713) 783-6655
Subscribe on your favorite player: https://understanding-the-human-condition.captivate.fm/listen
Trevor’s Cell Number –(917) 653-3899
Trevor’s Email – [email protected]
Trevor’s LinkedIn – https://www.linkedin.com/in/trevorshevin/
Sterling Recovery Services Website – https://www.sterlingrecovery.com/
Sterling Recovery Services Phone Number – (800) 807-8213
Link to Dogaholix – https://dogaholix.org/board-members/
Link to The NCADD – http://www.ncaddwestchester.org/
Link to the Williamsburg House – https://williamsburghousenyc.com/
Link to The United Intervention Services – https://unitedintervention.com/
**The views and opinions expressed by our guests are those of the individual and do not necessarily reflect those of J. Flowers Health Institute. Any content provided by our co-host(s) or guests are their opinion and are not intended to reflect the philosophy and policies of J. Flowers Health Institute itself. Nor is it intended to malign any recovery method, religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, individual, or anyone or anything.
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Trevor Shevin – The Best Gifts Come In Poorly Wrapped Packages
Welcome everybody to the show. I’m so excited to have two special guests with us. One of them is my practice partner, the amazing Robbin Mooney. Welcome, Robbin.
Thank you, Dr. Flowers.
This is your first episode with the J. Flowers Health Institute as a co-host.
Yes, as a co-host. I did join the wonderful Robin French on one earlier, but this is my first time as a co-host.
Super excited to have you. I know Trevor Shevin is an amazing friend of yours. Trevor, welcome.
Thank you. It’s nice to be here.
I know how incredibly busy you are and you fly all over the world and you’ve been traveling and Iso much appreciate your time to sit down with us for a few minutes.
I’m very honored to be here and grateful to be here, so thank you.
It’s so great to have you. Robbin, I was hoping you’d start us off and tell the world a little bit about Trevor.
Thank you, Dr. Flowers. Welcome, Trevor. We’re so happy to have you. Trevor Shevin is the Principal and Founder of Sterling Recovery Services, a highly specialized team of professionals whose clients suffer from a wide variety of serious conditions. They include alcoholism, drug addiction, eating and mental health disorders, co-occurring disorders, and process addictions such as gambling, spending, sex, internet use, and others.
The people they serve come from walks of life, including high-profile executives, athletes, celebrities, trustees, and family offices. Trevor is also a Certified Interventionist Professional, an MBA, and provides advisory, consulting, and intensive case management services to individuals, families, and corporations globally. Trevor continually achieves highly successful outcomes amongst even the more or most extremely complicated cases. Back to you, Dr. Flowers.
What an impressive bio. Again, thank you so much for being here. With all that said, I want this to be as enjoyable for you, Trevor, as it can possibly be. I’m going to start off with a question and say, what’s the one question that you are itching to be asked that no one ever asked you?
I like to consider myself a completely open book, although I’m sure I have filters I’m not even aware of, and no one asks me that.
Something that you’re dying to talk about that no one ever asks you about.
Trevor’s Journey And The Sterling Recovery Services
I think one of the things is, after being in the field for quite some time, it’s a little bit about my past and what got me here. I believe a good friend of mine and a colleague, Doug Lyons, you did an episode with him and he’s wonderful. I know he often talks about mission versus margin and whatnot. I think most people get into this field for all the right reasons and staying on that and maintaining their integrity with that is critical. That’s why I try and keep my relationships fairly small with very high-quality people like yourselves.
Even when you guys got started, I’m like the one that sticks my toe in the pool a little bit to feel how warm it is. I see things and hear things. The next thing you know, I’m in a partnership with someone. That’s how I like to operate. I should give a little bit of my background. I’ll self-disclose a little bit. I reluctantly turned 50, but I’m accepting it now. I mention that because some people tell me I look a little bit younger than I am.
When I mentioned my background, just to give time perspective, please don’t hold this against me, but I’m a recovering Wall Street MBA and worked on Wall Street for over ten years at one of the larger firms. I joined a hedge fund after that. I will self-disclose and I’m in recovery myself for some mental health and substance abuse issues but I was what one would consider very high-functioning. I never lost a job and never got arrested. I think when I was in business school, it was Warren Buffett who said something along the lines of it takes a lifetime to build a reputation, but only ten minutes to destroy it.
I fearlessly worked to make sure that ten minutes never happened. Very fear-driven and ego-driven success. Growing up, my father was an alcoholic and I pushed to get away from that. I did well in school. I did well in sports. I played sports through college. Everything looked nice on paper and I acquired all these masks to appear a certain way. Inside, always from a young child, very insecure. I’m still working on that. I’m getting better at it over time. Lots of trauma and betrayal.
Things culminated for me, just to bring it to a close, when I was 29, I was at the World Trade Center when 9/11 happened, lost some very close friends, and saw some things obviously that no one should have to see. It was a few years after that that some friends had intervened on me and I wound up getting help myself. It was very eye-opening to me. I wasn’t given the blueprint on how to live life. About a year later, I took to recovery like a duck to water in Manhattan in every way, therapy in different modalities and 12-step programs and all that.
About a year into my own journey, I had this existential moment of wanting to do something more enlightened, like those masks that I had to take off to get back to my authentic self. I want to do something more meaningful and purposeful. My success on Wall Street was very fear-driven. It didn’t line up with who I was. I went back to school, and I thought I might try to become a clinician and hang up a shingle in Manhattan. One thing led to another. I started doing what’s called clinical intensive case management and also became a certified interventionist. I was a unicorn back then. I think there’s a lot more of me, whatever me is.
In fact, a lot of the Wall Street money has followed me, which is a little bit scary, but that’s for another day. I got a lot of amazing opportunities and found my calling. To this day, we don’t advertise our market. We’re finally building a website because there’s so much competition so people can see exactly who we are and what we do, but it’s always been a landing page and referrals from great people like you or their families or family offices we work with. It took off from there. I worked with different people over the years.
Back in 2016, I started a company called Sterling Recovery Services and the name is for another time. It’s not a long story, but it’s not worth going into how we got that. We’re headquartered in Greenwich, Connecticut. We work with families, as Robbin mentioned, all over the world, mostly in the US and London. We do everything from interventions to intensive case management to advisory and consultative services and whatnot. We’re boutique, although I don’t love that word either. It’s small but strong in what we do and work with all walks of life.
Then we have a wellness center in Greenwich, Connecticut, where we work with a lot of local clients with groups, acupuncture massage, nutritionists, yoga, and whatnot for continuing care aftercare services. One thing I’ve been proud about, back to your question, is being able to stay true to myself. I think back to that lifetime to build a reputation ten minutes to destroy was a very fear-driven outcome.
It takes a lifetime to build a reputation yet 10 minutes to destroy.
In recovery, like one of the cornerstones for me is doing the next right thing, especially when no one’s looking, having integrity and authenticity with what I do, being client-centric versus wallet-centric. Of course, this is a business and I want to be profitable and I have employees and mouths to feed and all that stuff, but back to when I referenced Doug, the mission versus margin staying focused on the mission and the margin tends to work itself out that way.
Thank you so much for talking about that. It was a great episode with Clere Consulting and Doug Lyon. I asked Sam from Clere Consulting if he’d be willing to come on and do an episode. He said, “I’d love to come on and do an episode. I’ve got some things that Doug didn’t mention that I want to talk about.” We’re going to have Sam on here.
You’re so right about building these close relationships. I think that one of the most overused words is authentic relationships. It’s a good word. It is true. You are one of those authentic people who have a history of your own trauma and your own recovery, and you live an authentic life and it shows. You were here with your beautiful fiance. We learned more about your practice, and it was amazing. However, sitting and talking to someone, you can see and feel that authenticity in you guys. I appreciate that so much.
Thank you. There’s a saying, spot it, got it. If you’re seeing it in me, then you must have it in yourself.
Thank you so much. Robbin, I know you’re dying to jump in and ask.
First of all, welcome again. I’m so happy that we’re able to spend some time together on the show, but I’m dying to know what Dogaholix is and you are the president of the board for Dogaholix. I would love to know about that. I’d also like to know, which is a little more serious, is the United Intervention Services, recovery services for those with less financial means. I’d love to hear more about that.
The Dogaholix & The United Intervention Services
Thanks for mentioning that. I’ve been very blessed to have a nice career. I’m on the board of the National Council in the NCADD for Westchester, and I try to join nonprofit boards where I can help people who are less fortunate. When I got into this field, I didn’t care. I wanted to help anybody, whether it was inner city kids or whatever it might be, but because of my background and I’ve heard the term unicorn with my background, especially back then, it launched me into this space, which I used to sheepishly talk about what I do.
Mental health, in addition, is an equal opportunity destroyer, whether you have money or not. There is a judgment on people of means and that tends to be the group that I work with. I guess because of the background I had, I don’t know, it doesn’t matter. Where I can, I try and give back. I’m glad you mentioned that because you asked me if there’s anything I’d like to mention.
I’d love to plug a dear friend of mine, Benji, who runs Williamsburg House, which is a sober living house in Williamsburg. Out of everyone I know in the industry, I don’t know anyone who has more integrity than him. His passion and his dogs are mine. Maybe this is a bit of an overshare. As a kid, when there was a lot of chaos going on in the house and my father was an alcoholic and a diabetic, I mentioned diabetes because when he’d come home from work, I think he would drink a little bit and his blood sugar was low and the rage was high.
I would even hide sometimes in the coat closet with my dog as my meditation. That’s the way I look at it back then. I’ve always had a very strong connection with animals and dogs in particular. Dogaholix is a nonprofit and it’s providing vocational reentry for young adults in recovery. We’re getting it off the ground now. I’m very honored to be on the board. It’s got a great board and whatnot, and it hasn’t launched yet. We’re actually raising money for it and getting it off the ground. It’s something that I’m very proud of. I think it’s going to be cool.
We’re starting in Brooklyn and it’s going to echo out throughout the US. It’s basically when people, especially the younger adults who get into recovery, some of them don’t know how to hold a job. Some of them come from families of means where they haven’t had to hold a job or whatnot. It’s going to be an opportunity for them. The purpose is to raise money to help people get into treatment who can’t afford it. It’s giving jobs to people in early recovery.
It’s a good business model, in my opinion, when I put my old MBA hat on and take the profits to help those who are less fortunate. That’s great. The UIS is United Intervention Services. It’s something that I’m trying to start. There’s a lot of different interventionists around the country. It’s hard to vet who’s good and who’s not. A few friends and partners from around the country and I are putting together high-quality interventions at much more affordable prices.
I only have so much bandwidth and so do some of the more well-known interventionists in the country. This is an opportunity for the shrinking middle class. I think there are a lot of resources for people who have no means. There are obviously resources for people of great means, but we’re looking to help people who can cop together and get a good quality service that otherwise they find themselves stuck. I probably talked a little bit too long about that, but I’m excited about both of those.
That’s fantastic and so many of the families that we talked to we recommend an interventionist and or an intervention occur. They’re like, “Tell me what an intervention is.” For all the families that are out there reading, how would you describe the intervention in the process of an intervention?
The Process Of An Intervention
I reference a lot of words. I don’t like as an interventionist, I hate the word intervention because of the associations people have with it. That it’s what they think they see on TV and it can be very heavy-handed at times. I think I’m sure there are people like that. Essentially, the purpose of an intervention in the traditional sense obviously, interventions happen all the time at J. Flowers. You guys are constantly doing interventions on your clients to intervene essentially. From a sense of getting someone helping into treatment, it’s what we’re trying to do, when all is said and done, is raise someone’s bottom.
There’s an old saying in recovery and also with mental health that, if left untreated, it tends to end in jails, institutions, or death. It’s progressive in nature. Left untreated, it only gets worse. There are probably 10 or 11 different styles of interventions that do many different kinds with some of the corporations, hedge funds, or sports teams that I work with. It’s a little bit more myself and someone very high up, if not the CEO, talking with someone. It is fairly transactionally, either you’re going to get help, or here’s your severance or whatnot.
The ones I love to do are more of the family systems interventions and I use different styles. Some of them are what we would call more intervention, invitation, and all. What I love doing is something based on the Johnson model. Debra and Jeff started the love-first approach. It’s coming from the heart. Very rarely are you going to intellectually stimulate someone to get help whose brain is hijacked with whatever it is that’s going on with them. What we try to do is touch it. It is a bit formulaic in some senses. I do use letters because they’re very emotional.
I’ve never done an intervention where I haven’t needed a box of Kleenex. I think I’ve been told I have a nice disposition. I’ve never had anyone attack me or even about 85% to 90% of the time I do one, they go that day. Of the 10% to 15% that don’t go that day, about half of them go within a week thereafter because we can have bottom lines to protect them from themselves. There’s no shaming, there’s no blaming, there’s nothing punitive.
It’s all to protect them from themselves and try and reach their heart to get them to understand the ripple effect. People refer to it as a family disease and it’s not just because there’s a genetic disposition to it. It is because of how when the family finally has had enough, whoever it might be, when the consequences build to a point where people are done, that’s where we come in and try and enlighten them into getting the help they need.
I know for me, especially growing up with the background I had, I didn’t do well when people told me what to do, especially with authority figures. We’re trying to meet people where they’re at and show them the light. It’s much more loving. I prefer family meetings or whatever it might be versus the word intervention. I would say if you’re looking for someone to come in and be a cowboy and a maverick, I’m definitely not your guy.
I’ll tell you, I identify with you so much on the word intervention. With the clients that you work with and the clients that we work with and that we often share, it’s amazing how many times either a father or a mother has said to me, “How about we just call a family meeting? Can we call this a family meeting? We’re going to tell our son that we’re having a family meeting and it’s at 10:00 on Saturday. He’ll be there and everybody can do it that way. In our family, I think it would go a lot farther if we call it a family meeting.” What do you think about that?
We do that so often. Especially when COVID hit and everyone was isolated, I had to learn how to do these. My first intervention in COVID was in London, but I was literally sitting in here on Zoom. I remember the woman at one point, she was looking down. It was going well and it was emotional. I said to her, I’ll use a fake name, “Mary, are you okay?” She looked up and she actually pulled her foot up. She said, “Yeah, I’m fine. I realized I need a pedicure.”
It was hard to read that on Zoom, but the point is we try and keep it like that, like a family loving a meeting. I do often like to say, “I’ve asked everyone to put some thoughts down on paper. If you could listen, you’re going to hear some amazing things that you’re probably not expecting to hear.” In the beginning, the most important part of the intervention, or even if you have letters, is the first part, which is all the things that you love and respect about the person because 1) They probably lost sight of it if we’re there.
2) It’s to remind them of who they are. We want to disarm how they’re feeling, and they expect to hear everything wrong with them. That’s the last thing we’re doing. That’s all I need. Once we open them up, then it’s about providing a solution. I think people make mistakes trying to do “interventions” without having a solution. We’re going to go to J. Flowers now, which is one of the finest institutions in the world. Some options for them as opposed to addressing that there’s a problem and giving them the opportunity to get help. I fully agree. I do that all the time when it’s invitational. They know we’re going to have a family meeting. It makes it a lot softer but I try a hybrid approach of different intervention styles.
People make mistakes trying to do interventions without a solution.
Robbin, why don’t you ask the package question?
The Best Gifts Come In Poorly Wrapped Packages
Yes, I will. I’m dying to ask that one as well. I think this is a line that you often use. The best gifts come in poorly wrapped packages. Please do tell.
I guess, in some ways, I’ve answered that in things I’ve said so far. My ability, I think, to connect with people and have empathy and compassion is a direct byproduct of things I’ve been through. When I would hear people in recovery say they’re a grateful recovering alcoholic or addict or whatnot, I would cringe when I heard that early on. Now I understand what it means. Had I not found therapy and recovery and treatment, at best, I’d be living maybe a C-plus life and probably less than that.
I was pretty miserable and I didn’t even realize how much I was. I had gone through that and getting to a place that was a horribly wrapped gift at the time. When I first got into recovery, I got rid of all the bad people in my life, the people, places, and things. I had too much shame. There’s a lot of shame that comes with this. Shame being feeling bad about who I was as a person, guilt being feeling bad about things I may have done. I avoided good people in my life because it was like looking into a mirror and facing that shame.
I was all alone and it felt horrible, but it was the best gift because it allowed me to engage in treatment and recovery and have the life I have. Everything in my life is either mostly directly or some indirectly a byproduct of a lot of the pain I went through and learning that I did everything I could. As I mentioned with the masks that I would wear to protect myself from vulnerability and learning completely paradoxical to that, the Brene Brown realm of vulnerability breeds connectivity.
All the people who are closest in my life, it’s not based on our trophies. It’s based on a lot of the things that we’ve gone through in life in the shared experience and the ability to be open and connect on that level. That’s what I mean by that. It’s how I live through life. When things seem emotionally challenging to me, who’s to say this isn’t going to be a gift? It allows me to continue to walk through without feeling so much anxiety or insecurity or whatnot. Not to get woo-woo or whatever, but it’s a bit more of a spiritual approach to life versus always being hyper-focused on outcomes and results.
Blessing in disguise, for sure.
Trevor, a lot of times, we’ll wrap this up and say, what is your understanding of the human condition? I’m not going to ask you that because I think everything you’ve said exemplifies the human condition and what that means. I so appreciate you being vulnerable and telling us about your history and your support of your story. I know there’s a lot more to the story and Robbin and I would love to have you back and hear more about it because I think our audiences would love it and get so much out of it. If someone wants to reach you, how do they reach you? If they’re looking for intervention, how do they look at your website?
The best is to call me directly. We do have an 800 number, but I’ll give you my direct cell phone. It’s 917-653-3899. If you want to reach me via email, it’s [email protected]. Our website is SterlingRecovery.com. As I mentioned, we’re finally joining the rest of the world by launching a website so that they know. I’ve been very blessed up until now not to need that, but I think it’s going to be very helpful, so we’re excited about that.
I think for someone like you in your practice, it’s more of a family educational piece or a public education piece. You’re so busy and so successful and you guys do such an amazing job and so many people refer to you as we do. I think having that website for you guys is a big piece of information. I’ll certainly be looking at it and gleaning information from you. Anything we can do to support you guys, we appreciate. To reach J. Flowers Health Institute, Robbin, how do people reach out?
You can reach us at www.JFlowersHealth.Com. Reach our concierge confidential services through our phone number on the website, which is also 713-783-6655. Be sure to mention this show, and I’d like to remind everybody that we have numerous platforms for the show like YouTube, Apple Podcasts, SoundCloud, Spotify, Stitcher, iHeartRadio. Please share this episode on social media and with someone you think that it would be helpful for.
Thank you, Robbin, for being my co-host. It was wonderful having you. Trevor, thank you again for your time. Go out and have a fantastic day. Take good care. We will talk to you soon.
Thank you so much. I appreciate this. Thank you.
Thanks, everybody.
Thank you, Trevor.
Thanks.
We remind you also that a clear diagnosis is key to the most effective treatment possible.
Yes, it is.
See you next time.
Thanks again, Robbin.
Important Links
- Trevor Shevin
- [email protected]
- YouTube – Understanding The Human Condition
- Apple Podcasts – Understanding The Human Condition
- SoundCloud – Understanding The Human Condition
- Spotify – Understanding The Human Condition
- iHeart Radio – Understanding The Human Condition
